| Poem for Saturday |
[Jan. 10th, 2004|09:10 am] |
Blues By Elizabeth Alexander
I am lazy, the laziest girl in the world. I sleep during the day when I want to, 'til my face is creased and swollen, 'til my lips are dry and hot. I eat as I please: cookies and milk after lunch, butter and sour cream on my baked potato, foods that slothful people eat, that turn yellow and opaque beneath the skin. Sometimes come dinnertime Sunday I am still in my nightgown, the one with the lace trim listing because I have not mended it. Many days I do not exercise, only consider it, then rub my curdy belly and lie down. Even my poems are lazy. I use syllabics instead of iambs, prefer slant to the gong of full rhyme, write briefly while others go for pages. And yesterday, for example, I did not work at all! I got in my car and I drove to factory outlet stores, purchased stockings and panties and socks with my father's money.
To think, in childhood I missed only one day of school per year. I went to ballet class four days a week at four-forty-five and on Saturdays, beginning always with plie, ending with curtsy. To think, I knew only industry, the industry of my race and of immigrants, the radio tuned always to the station that said, Line up your summer job months in advance. Work hard and do not shame your family, who worked hard to give you what you have. There is no sin but sloth. Burn to a wick and keep moving.
I avoided sleep for years, up at night replaying evening news stories about nearby jailbreaks, fat people who ate fried chicken and woke up dead. In sleep I am looking for poems in the shape of open V's of birds flying in formation, or open arms saying, I forgive you, all.
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mrkinch, you made me think of this with your post on procrastination. I took a poetry writing class with Elizabeth at Penn, taught by Daniel Hoffman, and she started teaching at Chicago the year I left grad school. We also took a class on 18th century literature together at Penn with Paul Fussell -- a graduate-level class that I took as a junior, which was very difficult but I was determined to take a class with Fussell and knew he would be on leave my senior year; and she was the friendliest person in the class to a lowly undergrad. She's a really neat woman and a wonderful writer.
perkypaduan came over yesterday and brought Russell -- well, brought Breaking Up and Heaven's Burning, though we didn't get to the latter as we were interrupted by necessities like lunch and the dishwasher repairman. Breaking Up has a decidedly mediocre script but Russell and Salma Hayek were both quite enjoyable...I'm sorry, I just adore him scruffy and wearing glasses. He was supposed to be playing a photographer but I kept thinking for some reason that he was a college professor (she was a teacher) and that made me drool too. I discovered from Perky that Best Buy has Heaven's Burning for $5.99, so I may just buy it and we can watch it at our leisure later. The wonderful fileg sent me Proof, so the next time I drool over Russell, I can drool over Hugo too.
Otherwise yesterday was a chore day -- getting dishwasher repaired, getting work done, dinner with parents who are midway through tearing apart my childhood bedroom, getting stuff done that I'd promised to do for people. Unexciting, but any day when you're burning a CD of '60s music for someone, not bad at all.
Tonight we have tickets to the Wizards-76ers game (three years without seeing them and then twice in two weeks), and in the afternoon my younger son has basketball practice, and right now I need to go drive him to Hebrew school as my husband has taken our older son to a testing program for the gifted and talented magnet school that he adamantly does not want to attend. I guess getting in is the first step, and then we worry about that. |
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